I remember I was at my school. I remember I had a girlfriend. I forgot how she looked like, but she was kind. I remember we were in my house, it was late outside, and we cuddled. She felt comfortable, nice, and maybe even warm. I also remember we cuddled outside my house, like- at a different house; maybe it was her house. I think I remember her with curly hair, im not sure. Maybe she was tan? I don't know. I was at school again, there was an assembly. I walked down the school gym with confidence. I looked directly at the bleachers to find a seat, i didn't care what stares people gave. Everyone looked happy anyways. I remember there were two parts of the game. The first half of the game, I joined the team/bleachers that had the loudest, funnest leader. Which, was the red team. He was tall, athletic, with short light blonde hair, and a loud voice. He yelled and supported his team. Every other team, yellow, green, they were loud too, but sorta quiet and boring. For the next half of the game, it seemed to be a new day but same place.(it's hard to remember). The teams were sat in different areas this time when I walked into the gymnasium. I was thinking about choosing a different team but I didn't. I remember walking across the gymnasium with no anxiety just to simply sit back at the red team's spot. The game now officially started. I watched until the near end. Until everyone started leaving before fully figuring out who won. I think it was blue team vs red team. I was a little confused but I eventually followed the crowd. Though, an old friend of mine made eye contact with me while I walked away. She gave me a look of "what are you doing", a look that looked annoyed, mean. I told her I'm leaving. I think she responded with questioning why, but then she eventually shook her head and dismissed me. Though, she still look upset. When I saw she looked upset, I hesitated when my toes finally reached the gymnasium floor. Then, I turned around and shook my head. I thought to myself 'it's my turn to be happy, do what I want', i told myself I was done being a people pleaser. Though there were two odd things about this part of my dream. Near the end of the game when I was leaving, the stairs were uneven. But not impossible, just very odd. Like, the near end of the stairs were very high, then sunk low to the last step. Also, the bleachers were originally in the middle, then suddenly, the bleachers were set to the corner of the room, closer to the exit. During the entire game I kept thinking of my "girlfriend", how much I missed her. I craved to cuddle her again, to find her, but I actually never found her again. At some point in my dream, I actually thought, "Am I gay?" I thought, maybe I would be better off dating girls, this feels good. But not good enough for it to last until marriage. I can only imagine a guy until marriage. But, what if I actually like girls more? But, what if I actually like guys more. I never got an intense want in wanting a girlfriend, but always an intense want with a guy. All in all, a puzzled thought I actually seriously don't care much for. No one in my family cares who I date anyways, as long as they're kind. THIS, was just a dream thought. Anyways, I finally exit the gymnasium. I head towards the bathroom. It didn't look exactly like my school bathrooms in real life. My school bathrooms are more grey scale, this bathroom was white, square bathroom with stalls with wide enough cracks for anyone to peek through. It looked like an average public bathroom. Lots of girls were obviously coming in. I needed to pee really badly. The second i closed to stall and pulled down my pants, I peed right away. I didn't aim for the toilet, I meant to. But my urine was hitting the stall door, floor, then it finally hit the toilet when I finally sat down. I at first didn't know I was making a mess until I backed up and saw the puddle that was visible on the floor. I was worried for my pants but my urine didn't seem to affect my clothes, surprisingly, but only a puddle visible for anyone on the floor. The puddle didn't look like pee, more of clear water; the puddle started from inside the stall to a little outward from the stall. Though, nobody in the bathroom questioned. I know because I saw through the cracks of the stall. I was worried, very anxious of others finding out I was the one who peed the floor because I WOULD NEVER. Though, this is where I remember my dream ending.
This intriguing dream weaves together different themes, emotions, and settings, all of which potentially hold deep symbolic meanings or reflections from your waking life. Here's an interpretation of your dream:
Setting and School Environment: Being in a school setting often symbolizes learning experiences and personal development. It can reflect feelings or situations where you're being 'tested' or where learning is taking place in your life. The assembly and games might suggest communal events or feelings of belonging to groups or societal norms.
The Girlfriend and Relationship Reflection: The presence of a kind girlfriend, whom you vaguely remember, could symbolize a part of yourself that seeks comfort, warmth, and love. It might also reflect an exploration of your own identity, desires, and comfort with intimate relationships. Your thoughts questioning sexual orientation within the dream reveal a subconscious exploration of identity and preferences. This introspection might mirror real-life contemplation or simply be an exploration of your identity at a subconscious level.
Confidence and Freedom: Walking confidently in the gymnasium, choosing where to sit, and switching between teams reflect a growing sense of self-assurance and the desire to pursue happiness on your own terms, rather than adhering to external expectations or people-pleasing tendencies. The internal dialogue about choosing happiness over pleasing others signifies an important personal growth or epiphany moment, showing that you're asserting your independence and prioritizing your own well-being.
Uneven Stairs and Moving Bleachers: These signify shifting perspectives, challenges, or feelings of instability in your life. Dreams often use unusual architecture to indicate feelings of uncertainty or a need to balance different aspects of one’s life. This could link to the changes and developments you're experiencing as you navigate new personal insights or external situations.
Bathroom Scene: Bathrooms in dreams often symbolize a place to cleanse oneself or deal with personal and private issues, including feelings, that you might be processing. This part of the dream, with its focus on cleanliness and anxiety about being seen, could be reflecting insecurities or fears about being transparent or exposed. The urine not affecting your clothes might signify a sense of resilience or protection against embarrassing situations, or a realization that fears of embarrassment or judgment are unfounded.
Reflection on Puddles and Anxiety: The puddle of 'water' rather than 'urine' could suggest that what you perceive as mistakes or embarrassing situations are less problematic than they seem. Your own perception of the event is more worrying to you than to others, indicating a highlight on self-perception issues and how external judgment might affect you.
Overall, your dream speaks to identity exploration, personal choice in confronting social pressures, self-acceptance, and the dealing with internal anxieties. Paying attention to how these themes resonate with your waking life can offer insights into one's current personal journey or subconscious processing of life events and feelings.